MUST RESPECT WOMEN

Dunno who wrote it, but a well Versed, superb Expression !!!

Tomorrow you may marry a working woman, but you should marry with these  facts
as well........ ......... ......... ....

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;

Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as  human
as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your

sister hasn't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that

gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements;

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as

much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who
love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family
name;

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep
oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment

and that kitchen;

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook
food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe  more,
and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a
mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you
are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and  knows
that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns  faster than
you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men

at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing
to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational  jealousy,
unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because
you won't like it, even though you say otherwise;

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours,
are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important
relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some
and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows
in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most
importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

So Guys, don't forget to love and respect this woman who is or will be your partner
for life...

Before and After Marriage

 
Before the marriage:
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
 
Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom to the top !!!!

.

Chak De INDIA

http://www.cricketnext.com/videos/27000/coach-coach-hota-hai.html

 

 

difference b/w love and arranged marriage

Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.

 

Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.

 

Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.

 

Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.

 

Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.

Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.

 

Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.

 

Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.

 

Love Marriage: Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.

 

Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.

 

Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.

 

Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis. Product once sold will not be taken back!

101 ways to make u smile

 

01. Call an old friend, just to say hi.
02. Hold a door open for a stranger.
03. Invite someone to lunch.
04. Compliment someone on his or her appearance.
05. Ask a coworker for their opinion on a project.
06. Bring cookies to work.
07. Let someone cut in during rush hour traffic.
08. Leave a waitress or waiter a big tip.
09. Tell a cashier to have a nice day.
10. Call your parents.










 

 
11. Let someone know you miss them.
12. Treat someone to a movie.
13. Let a person know you really appreciate them.
14. Visit a retirement center.
15. Take a child to the zoo.
16. Fill up your spouse's car with gas.
17. Surprise someone with a small gift.
18. Leave a thank-you note for the cleaning staff at work.
19. Write a letter to a distant relative.
20. Tell someone you thought about them the other day.










 

 
21. Put a dime in a stranger's parking meter before the time expires.
22. Bake a cake for a neighbor.
23. Send someone flowers to where they work.
24. Invite a friend to tea.
25. Recommend a good book to someone.
26. Donate clothing to a charity.
27. Offer an elderly person a ride to where they need to go.
28. Bag your own groceries at the checkout counter.
29. Give blood.
30. Offer free baby-sitting to a friend who's
really busy or just needs a break.










 

 
31. Help your neighbor rake leaves or shovel snow.
32. Offer your seat to someone when there aren't any left.
33. Help someone with a heavy load.
34. Ask to see a store's manager and comment on the great service.
35. Give your place in line at the grocery store
to someone who has only a few items.
36. Hug someone in your family for no reason.
37. Wave to a child in the car next to you.
38. Send a thank-you note to your doctor.
39. Repeat something nice you heard about someone else.
40. Leave a joke on someone's answering machine.










 

 
41. Be a mentor or coach to someone.
42. Forgive a loan.
43. Fill up the copier machine with paper after you're done using it.
44. Tell someone you believe in them.
45. Share your umbrella on a rainy day.
46. Welcome new neighbors with flowers or a plant.
47. Offer to watch a friend's home while they're away.
48. Ask someone if they need you to pick up
anything while you're out shopping.
49. Ask a child to play a board game, and let them win.
50. Ask an elderly person to tell you about the good old days.










 

 
51. During bad weather, plan an indoor picnic with the family.
52. Buy someone a goldfish and bowl.
53. Compliment someone on their cooking and
politely ask for a second helping.
54. Dance with someone who hasn't been asked.
55. Tell someone you mentioned them in your prayers.
56. Give children's clothes to another family
when your kids outgrow them.
57. Deliver extra vegetables from your garden
to the whole neighborhood.
58. Call your spouse just to say, I love you.
59. Call someone's attention to a rainbow or beautiful sunset.
60. Invite someone to go bowling.










 

 
61. Figure out someone's half-birthday by adding 182 days,
and surprise them with a cake.
62. Ask someone about their children.
63. Tell someone which quality you like most about them.
64. Brush the snow off of the car next to yours.
65. Return your shopping cart to the front of the store.
66. Encourage someone's dream, no matter how big or small it is.
67. Pay for a stranger's cup of coffee without them knowing it.
68. Leave a love letter where your partner will find it.
69. Ask an older person for their advice.
70. Offer to take care of someone's pet while they're away.










 

 
71. Tell a child you're proud of them.
72. Visit a sick person, or send them a care package.
73. Join a Big Brother or Sister program.
74. Leave a piece of candy on a coworker's desk.
75. Bring your child to work with you for the afternoon.
76. Give someone a recording of their favorite music.
77. Email a friend some information about
a topic they are especially interested in.
78. Give someone a homemade gift.
79. Write a poem for someone.
80. Bake some cookies for your local fire or police department.










 

 
81. Organize a neighborhood cleanup and have a barbecue afterwards.
82. Help a child build a birdhouse or similar project.
83. Check in on an old person, just to see if they're okay.
84. Ask for the recipe after you eat over at someone's house.
85. Personally welcome a new employee at work
and offer to take them out for lunch.
86. While in a car, ask everyone to buckle up
because they are important to you.
87. Let someone else eat the last slice of cake or pizza.
88. Stop and buy a drink from a kid's lemonade stand.
89. Forgive someone when they apologize.
90. Wave to someone looking for a parking space when
you're about to leave a shopping center.










 

 
91. Send a copy of an old photograph to a childhood friend.
92. Leave a pint of your spouse's favorite flavor of
ice cream in the freezer with a bow on it.
93. Do a household chore that is usually done
by someone else in the family.
94. Be especially happy for someone when
they tell you their good news.
95. Compliment a coworker on their role in a successful project.
96. Give your spouse a spontaneous back rub at the end of the day.
97. Serve someone in your family breakfast in bed.
98. Ask someone if they've lost weight.
99. Make a donation to a charity in someone's honor.
100. Take a child to a ballgame.










 
     
 
And last, but not least...

 
     
 
101. Forward this list to your favorite people!

 

 

The Bo$$

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect.

The next day, he brought a small sign that

Read:

"I'm the Boss!"

He then taped it to his office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:

" Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"

__._,_.___

One Liners

Behind every successful woman, there is a satisfied men! But behind a

satisfied woman, there is an exhausted man...!!

Daily Prayer: O GOD, give us strength & capacity to pay Income Tax, VAT,

CST, Service Tax, Excise Duty, Octroi, TDS, ESI, FBT, Prop.Tax, Stamp Duty,

CGT, Water Tax, Prof. Tax, Road Tax, Edu Cess, Congestion Levy & many more.

Besides don't forget Gunda Hafta, Bribes, Donations, Chanda, Beggers etc...

If we have some time & money left after that, we will do some Business.

Cheers to Booming Indian Economy! Gud Day!

                                                                           

 Ladies....it is okay to wait for the right man to come along but in the   

 meantime have some fun with the wrong ones.                               

                                                                           

                                                                           

 • Well, they do say opposite attracts... So I sincerely 'hope' you meet   

 somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cuultured.           

                                                                           

                                                                           

 • A teenage boy to his father: Here's my report card and a list I've      

 compiled of entrepreneurs who never finished high school.                 

                                                                           

        

                                                                           

 • Miss U Miss U sab kahein, par actually miss kare na koi. Agar koi kisiko

 miss kare to fir SMS band kyun hoye!                                      

                                                                           

                                                                           

 • A Law Professor asks a Student: Which is the most imp LAW of Finance for

 Starting a New Business?                                                  

 The Student replies: Father-in-Law                                        

                                                                           

                                                                           

 • A motorist hit a sparrow. He took d unconscious bird, put in cage with  

 bread & water.                                                            

 Bird wakes up, luks around & screams: Salakhen! My God! I've killed the   

 motorist.                                                                 

                                                                           

                                                                           

 • M_rkh, St_pid, B_dh_, D_ffer, Bewak_f, Ghoch _, _ll_, Bhondu_, dekha... 

 Everything is incomplete without 'U'                                      

                                                                           

                                                                           

 • As u face a brand new day, bow ur head & say this prayer: Thank u Lord  

 for having this amazingly gud luking sender. May his smartness increases  

 everyday.                                                                 

                                                                           

                                                                           

 • A good friend comes 2 visit u in the hospital with flowers n goes.      

 A True friend sits near u n says: O yaar, nurse bahut sunder hai... aaram 

 se theek hona!                                                            

                                                                           

                                                                           

                                                                           

 • All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or   

 married to someone else!                                                  

                                                                           

 • There's a small gap between confidence and over-confidence. You can kiss

 your girlfriend is Confidence. Only you can kiss your girlfriend is       

 Over-Confidence.                                                          

                                                                           

 • What would confuse a mentally challenged person?                        

 Answer: A pineapple.                                                      

 Confused...? I knew you would be!                                         

                                                                           

 • How to catch a squirrel?                                                

 Climb up a tree and just be yourself. Squirrels will come to you on their 

 own. Because they just love NUTS !                                        

                                                                           

 • A highly successful flirt was once asked: Which one is ur best gf?      

 He replied: The next one!                                                 

 Always aim high n continuously improve ur performance.                    

                                                                           

 • The most interesting thing about this sms is that by the time you       

 realize that nothing is written in it.... it would be too late for you to 

 stop reading it!                                                          

                                                                           

 • Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like    

 expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian!            

                                                                           

 • If I was a painter, u would be my painting. If I was an author, you     

 would be my story. If I was a poet, you would be my poem. But             

 unfortunately I am a psychiatrist.                                        

                                                                           

 • Hi, keep messaging me and win exciting prizes:                          

 3rd Prize: Lots of Luv.                                                   

 2nd Prize:Longlasting friendship.                                         

 1st Priz: Free stay for Lifetime in my heart.                             

                                                                           

 • No matter how high the sky is, how deep the ocean is, how strong the    

 wind is, how wide the river is, I just wanna tell u... it's none of ur    

 business.                                                                 

                                                                           

 

Interesting game

Please turn on your speaker bcoz the fun lies in the sound only……………………….

 

 

i bet u cant cross level 3 !!!

 

 

http://fun.fourecks.de/flash/games/lab.swf

 

Decide ur life

Hi Friends, Your life - your likes - you decide!!! A long time ago, there was an Emperor who told his horseman that if he could ride on his horse and cover as much land area as he likes, then the Emperor would give him the area of land he has covered. Sure enough, the horseman quickly jumped onto his horse and rode as fast as possible to cover as much land area as he could. He kept on riding and riding, whipping the horse to go as fast as possible. When he was hungry or tired, he did not stop because he wanted to cover as much area as possible. Came to a point when he had covered a substantial area and he was exhausted and was dying. Then he asked himself, "Why did I push myself so hard to cover so much land area? Now I am dying and I only need a very small area to bury myself." The above story is similar with the journey of our Life. We push very hard everyday to make more money, to gain power and recognition. We neglect our health , time with our family and to appreciate the surrounding beauty and the hobbies we love. One day when we look back , we will realize that we don't really need that much, but then we cannot turn back time for what we have missed. Life is not about making money, acquiring power or recognition . Life is definitely not about work! Work is only necessary to keep us living so as to enjoy the beauty and pleasures of life. Life is a balance of Work and Play , Family and Personal time . You have to decide how you want to balance your Life. Define your priorities, realize what you are able to compromise but always let some of your decisions be based on your instincts. Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of Life, the whole aim of human existence. So, take it easy, do what you want to do and appreciate nature. Life is fragile, Life is short. Do not take Life for granted. Live a balanced lifestyle and enjoy Life! Watch your thoughts ; they become words. Watch your words ; they become actions. Watch your actions ; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character . Watch your character; it becomes your destiny .

CASES

 

 

 CASE # 1  
 
Interviewer to Millionaire :
To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?
Millionaire : I owe everything to my wife.
Interviewer : Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?
Millionaire: A billionaire.

CASE # 2

Wife: Why do you always carry my photo in your wallet?
Husband : When there is a problem, no matter how big, I look at your photo and the problem disappears.
Wife : You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can be greater than this one?"

CASE # 3

Q - What is the difference between a mother and a wife?
A - One woman brings you into this world crying....
 
......the other ensures you continue to do so .

CASE # 4

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and No.

CASE # 5

Wife: Honey..... What are you looking for?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife: Nothing...?? You have been reading our marriage certificate for an hour !!
Husband: I was just looking for the expiry date. 

 

 

Don't be caught in one of these situations my  dear frenz.

NEWTON in romantic mood..

*NEWTON** IN ROMANTIC MOOD..............*
*
U niversal L aw O f L ove:*

' Love Can Neither Be Created Nor Be Destroyed; Only It Can Transfer
From
One Girlfriend To Another Girlfriend With Some Loss Of Money '
*
F irst L aw O f L ove:*

' A Boy In Love With A Girl, Continue To Be In Love With Her And A Girl
In Love With A Boy, Continue To Be In Love With Him, Until Or Unless
Any External Agent(Brother Or Father Of The Gal) Comes Into Play And
Break The Legs Of The Boy. '
*
S econd L aw O f L ove:*

' The Rate Of Change Of Intensity Of Love Of A Girl Towards A Boy Is
Directly Proportional To The Instantaneous Bank Balance Of The Boy And
The Direction Of This Love Is Same To As Increment Or Decrement Of The
Bank Balance. '
*
T hird L aw O f L ove: *

' The Force Applied While Proposing A Girl By A Boy Is Equal And
Opposite
To The Force Applied By The Girl While Slapping.'

Poetic way to resign.........This is wat i feel now.......

                      The Poetic way to Resign

"The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is thats of a pig
The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don't know if I should stay.
 
To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say
My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don't know if I should stay.
 
The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age
This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don't know if I should stay.
 
The money is good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate
Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don't know if I should stay!
 
The managers don't know what they talk
The team doesn't know where they walk
That's a bad situation, what say?
I don't know if I should stay.
 
I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace
I can't keep switching day by day
I don't know if I should stay.
 
The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess
No more will I walk their way,
It's all done, I won't stay"  
 
Thanks & Regards
Employee

 

Is this your appraisal letter ???? think Twice...:)

D ear Manager (HR),
Vivek, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Vivek works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Vivek never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Vivek takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Vivek is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Vivek can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Vivek be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible.

Signed - Project Leader





NB : That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report
sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines ( 1, 3, 5, 7, 9,11, 13 )
for my true assessment of him.

The Robot

One day dad bought a robot. The robot was special in that it could

detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face.

Son returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, "Son,

why are you late from school?".

Son answered, "Dad, we had extra classes today."

Much to his astonishment the Robot jumped up and slapped son on his

face.

His dad told him "Son, this robot is special in that he can detect a

lie and will then slap the person who lied. Now come on tell me the

truth, why are you late?"

"Dad I went for a movie."

"Which movie?"

"The Ten Commandments."

 S-p-la-tt

Son got a tight slap on the face from the robot.

"Sorry dad, I lied again, honestly I went for an adult movie."

Dad: "Shame on you son. When I was your age, I never used to do such

shameful things."

S-p-la-tt

The dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot!

Hearing all this, the wife comes walking out of the kitchen saying,

"After all he is your son, he will be like you!"

S-p-la-tt

The robot steps up and gives her a resounding slap on her face.

Engineer Boyfriends are the best !!!

Engineer Boyfriends are the best:


1: Secure lifestyle
An engineer boyfriend can provide you with a secure lifestyle. At 27
years old, an engineer probably has a respectable, stable job that
gives him high income to own a car, invest, have a comfortable life,
and get married and buy a house too. Law graduates are still working
as a lowly apprentice in law firm, most management graduates have just
failed on their first business plan, the arts graduate is still
looking for a job, and the medical school graduate is still living in
a hospital.

2: Unmatchable industriousness
An engineer boyfriend will dedicate an unimaginable amount of his time
and effort to understand you. Engineers strain really really hard to
understand their work. You can believe that they will try really
really hard to understand women too, just like how they understand
their work, once they believe that you are the one. So even if they
don't understand you initially, they will keep on trying. Even if they
still do not understand, they will figure out the correct method to
keep you happy ( e.g. buy diamond ring = 1 week's worth of happiness.)
And once they find out the secret formula, they will just keep on
repeating it so that the desired results appear. Unlike the Lawyer who
will argue with you, the Management graduate who will try to control
your spending, the Arts graduate who will 'change major', and the
medical school graduate who will operate on you. And you know what,
it's really so easy to make engineers believe that you are the 'one'.
Say that you like one of their projects and they will be hooked to you
forever.

3: An engineer boyfriend will never betray your trust.
Let me first tell you what is wrong with the rest of the others - the
lawyers will lie about everything, management graduates will cheat
your money, the arts graduate will flirt, and you probably just look
like another cadaver to the medical school graduate. Your engineer
boyfriend is either too busy to have an affair, and even if he does,
he is too dumb to lie to you about that.
Hence, an engineer is the most secure boyfriend that you will ever
find - rich enough, will keep on trying to understand and please you,
has no time for affairs, and too dumb to lie to you.

Conclusion: Engineerz rul e !


 

Boys will be boys.........

Boy : Suit bada acha pehna hai

Girl : Thanx

Boy : lipstik bahut achi lagai hai

Girl : Thanx

Boy : make up bhi bahut acha kia hai

Girl : Thanx "bhaiya "

Boy : fir bhi sundar nahi lag rahi ho !!!!! 

ITS IMPORTANT FOR YOU IF YOU DRINK. OR U R WID PERSON WHO DRINK..........(POEM)

I went to a party Mom, I remembered what you said. You told me not to drink, Mom, So I drank soda instead. I really felt proud inside, Mom, The way you said I would. I didn't drink and drive, Mom, Even though the others said I should. I know I did the right thing, Mom, I know you are always right. Now the party is finally ending, Mom, As everyone is driving out of sight. As I got into my car, Mom, I knew I'd get home in one piece. Because of the way you raised me, So responsible and sweet.   I started to drive away, Mom, But as I pulled out into the road, The other car didn't see me, Mom, And hit me like a load. As I lay there on the pavement, Mom, I hear the policeman say, "The other guy is drunk," Mom, And now I'm the one who will pay. I'm lying here dying, Mom.... I wish you'd get here soon. How could this happen to me, Mom? My life just burst like a balloon. There is blood all around me, Mom, And most of it is mine. I hear the medic say, Mom, I'll die in a short time. I just wanted to tell you, Mom, I swear I didn't drink. It was the others, Mom. The others didn't think. He was probably at the same party as I. The only difference is, he drank And I will die. Why do people drink, Mom? It can ruin your whole life. I'm feeling sharp pains now. Pains just like a knife. The guy who hit me is walking, Mom, And I don't think it's fair. I'm lying here dying And all he can do is stare. Tell my brother not to cry, Mom. Tell Daddy to be brave. And when I go to heaven, Mom, Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave. Someone should have told him, Mom, Not to drink and drive. If only they had told him, Mom, I would still be alive. My breath is getting shorter, Mom. I'm becoming very scared. Please don't cry for me, Mom. When I needed you, you were always there. I have one last question, Mom. Before I say good bye. I didn't drink and drive, So why am I the one to die? Someone took the effort to write this poem.  So please, forward this to as many people as you can.  And see if we can get a chain going around the world that will make people understand that drinking and driving don't mix.

Reason why never visit a 5* Hotel

Reason why never
visit a 5 * Hotel

Question : "

What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"

Answer: " tea please "

Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"

Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? Black or white ?"

Answer: "white"

Question: " Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ? "

Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"

Answer: "With cow milk please.

Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"

Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "

Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey? "

Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"

Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"

Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."

Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "

Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"

Answer: " I'll rather die of thirst