Best Short Story... A must read too too too good

There was a contest in TCS to write a fictional story for 500 words max which would start with the line " On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station "
This is what a guy wrote for the contest....... and surprisingly, it was adjudged the best short story : ))  

On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during mid night with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprised to see the phrase "appraisal letter" on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed.... My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"... As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.
While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter... hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name.... it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind......... splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "wake up man? Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready".

I-N-S-A-N-E Website!---Creativity at its maximum... Mercedes Benz..!! Dont Miss this

Check out this site about Mercedes Benz.. The power of Adobe Flash at its zenith..

An awesome work by the people who designed this link.. Do take a look at it and try all the links from "A" to "S"..

Check this out ------    http://www.a-to-s.co.uk/home.php.

Don't miss even a bit of it..............

Some Exciting Love Tips...

Send a dozen roses: 11 red roses and 1 white one. The note: "In every bunch there's one who stands out - and you are that one." "The art of love ... is largely the art of persistence" Dr Albert Ellis Write him/her a check for one million kisses Something for the Honeymoon or anniversary.... a lottery ticket and a note: "I hit the jackpot when I married you." Book A Massage to give your partner a professional massage.. Hide a love note in a bottle of vitamins. The note will say: "Try some vitamin L." Scatter rose petals all over the bed. Buy the music CD "Let's talk about love" by Celine Dion. Write notes on Post-it notes and stick them around. Don't buy cheap lingerie unless you plan to rip it off her in passionate lovemaking. Hide a love note in his pants pocket. Other places to hide a small note: * under the pillow * in his shaving kit * between the pages he/she is reading Guys: know her dress size, shoe and of course her finger size (for rings that fit). Gals: know his coat size, shoe and hat size, shirt and pants size, finger size (for bowling balls that fit)... Give the gift of time (wristwatch) with this inscription: "I'll always have time for you." NEVER, never, never say "I told you so". Mail a lock of your hair to your lover. Ask him to pick a number between 1 and 50, then reward him with that number of kisses. Make a habit of taking a stroll after dinner every evening. "Women fall in love through their ears, men fall in love through their eyes." Woodrow Wyatt. When dining, share everything: your meals and desserts. Make love on top of the washer/dryer (while it's running). Attach a note on the TV remote: "Turn me on instead!" Before getting out of bed, face your partner, give him/her a kiss and say: "I'm so thankful I have you in my life." Sign your letters: "Forever and a day" Place a heart-shaped sticker on your wristwatch to remind you to call. On your lover's birthday send his/her mother a "Thank you" card. Hide a pair of earrings in a box of chocolates. Celebrate the anniversary of when you first met. Shower together by candlelight. Use the little strips of paper from Hershey's kisses as coupons redeemable for one kiss each. Tell your mate that you - love, adore, admire, cherish, desire, want, need, prize, esteem, idolize, revere, treasure him/her. Hide a little gift for her so she'll find it during a walk together. Leave a note: "I know we are soulmates because....." "Imagination is more important than knowledge" - Albert Einstein Give her your jacket when she is chilly. Nothing is impossible to a willing heart, so let your imagination go wild... Guys: Hold her dinner chair. "One does not fall 'in' or 'out' of love. One grows in love" - Leo Buscaglia Buy her an outfit while she's trying it on; let her wear it out of the store. Slip a little love note into his wallet, in between the dollar bills. Drip chocolate syrup on selected body parts before lovemaking. Inspiration for long time lovers: "The older the violin, the sweeter the music" - Anonymous Gently brush her cheeks with your lips. Give him a lottery ticket. Attach a note: "You are one in a million" While slow dancing, whisper something sweet to her. Get the song "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston. When attending a wedding, whisper: "If I had to do it over, I'd marry you again." Hide a teeny, tiny gift somewhere on your body and make him find it. Fill his toolbox with lingerie. Make him "work" to get his tools back. Fold a love note in a fluffy bath towel. Run your hands under warm water before going to bed. Let a Shakespearean quote speak for you. Gals: Never, never, never talk about your past boyfriends in front of him. Sprinkle perfume on to light bulb. When light is turned on the scent of the perfume will fill the room. Listen to a romantic audio tape, fix a cup of hot flavored tea, and light two candles. Keep a journal of your romantic fantasies. Share it with your soul mate. Play "hide-and-seek" in the rain. It's fun and VERY sensual! Fill bathtub with warm water sprinkled with rose petals. Invite your sweetie to an intimate dinner at your place. Make a pizza and with the pepperoni you can write something sweet, like "you are the one for me". Surprise your lover with a kiss before they can finish a sentence. Write your own love poems then record them on a tape and give them to your sweetheart. Give your love an antique compass and say "You will never lose me". Your love will swear the needle always points to their heart! While your love takes a shower, write the words "I love you" in the condensation of the bathroom mirror. Leave a trail of "Hershey's chocolate kisses" from the front door to the bedroom, right up to the bed. On the bed leave a note that reads 'I kiss the ground you walk on.' Make sure you're not home when s/he gets in! Look straight into the eyes of your love and PAY ATTENTION to what they tell you! Tell your mate something about you that no one else knows. Look into the eyes of your special someone often. "The eyes are the window to the soul". Weave love, sex, intimacy, passion and romance into the fabric of your daily lives. Buy a set of matching silk pajamas, and take turns modeling them for each other. Men: Talk more. Women: Touch more.

The Most Funny Classified AD

These four classified ads appeared in a newspaper on four consecutive days. The last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake...   ****** MONDAY: For sale - Vishanth has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 98407 16581 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him cheap. ****** TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred in Vishanth's ad yesterday. It should have read, "One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 98407 16581 and ask for Mrs Mani, who lives with him after 7PM." ****** WEDNESDAY: Notice: Vishanth has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of t he error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: "For sale - Vishanth has a sewing machine for sale; Cheap. Phone 98407 16581 after 7PM and ask for Mrs. Mani who loves with him. ****** THURSDAY: Notice: I, Vishanth, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 98407 16581 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Mani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper but she quit! ******

Let Her Dig

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated
each other.

When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep
into the night.
The old woman would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the
grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!

Neighbours feared her. They believed she practiced black magic, because of
the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighbourhood.

The old woman liked the fact that she was feared. To everyone's relief, she
died of a heart attack when she was 70.

Her husband had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial he went
straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow.

His neighbours, concerned for his safety, asked, 'Aren't you afraid that
she may indeed be able to dig her way up and out of the grave and come back
to haunt you for the rest of your life?'

The old man put down his drink and said, 'Let her dig. I had her buried
upside down......'

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MORAL OF THE STORY  -  Men always have a Solution to every Problem

Useful Info - Address Proof Card

Address Proof Card in India Many working peoples often shift their houses. For them, itis difficult to produce an address proof issued by Govt with latest address.Our India post (post office) has come up with a solution.Now you can get an Address proof along with your photo from India post Since the ID proof is issued by India post which is a central government organization, it is similar to Govt ID cards like Driving license, Voters ID etc. It can be used for opening bank accounts, for getting telephone/internet connections etc. The total cost for getting this ID card is Rs.250/ (Rs.10 for application and Rs.240/- processing fee). Inform everybody. This is very useful ,For more details enquire in the nearest post office.

Simple to Find Lost Mobile

Simple to find Lost Mobile After reading this please preserve the IMEI number in a notepad and send to your email so that it will be permanetly with u An IMEI number-The International Mobile Equipment Identity (IMEI) number is an international identity number used to uniquely identify a mobile phone. The 15-digit IMEI number is an electronic fingerprint transmitted every time a phone is used, which reveals the identity of the mobile handset. How can I find out my IMEI number? IMEI numbers are independent of the phone number and are usually written underneath the battery or on the back of the handset. Mobile phone users can also check their 15 digit IMEI number by dialling *#06# on their mobile handset. Mobile phone owners should make a note of their IMEI number and keep the details in a safe place. If u lost your mobile, send an e-mail to cop@vsnl.net with the following info. Your name: Address: Phone model: Make: Last used No.: E-mail for communication: Missed date: IMEI No.: 'No need to go to police station'

This is Attitude!!!! !

After an international beer conference in London , all the world's top
brewery bosses decide to go out for a beer together.

The Chairman of Budweiser says, 'I'd like the most refreshing beer
in the world, 'The King of Beers': give me a Budweiser.'
The bartender takes a bottle from the shelf and opens it for him.

The Chairman of Guinness says, 'I'd like the only beer in the world
worth
really, truly waiting for: give me a Guinness.'
The bartender serves him.

The Chairman of Carlsberg says, ' I would like the world's best beer,
drunk in more countries than any other: give me a Carlsberg.'
He gets it.

Vijay Mallya sits down, looks around and says, 'Just give me a Coke.'
The bartender looks at him, shrugs, and serves him.
The other brewery bosses laugh loudly and say, 'Hey Vijay, how come
you aren't drinking a Kingfisher?'

'Listen,' says Vijay Mallya, 'If you guys aren't drinking
beer, neither will I

This is Attitude!!!! !

Tongue Twisters

Tongue Twisters

1. If you understand, say "understand" . If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!

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2.I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.

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3.Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.

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4 .A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he   could  see was sea, sea, sea.

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5 .Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People

**********
6 .If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

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7 .I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought   I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been  the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.

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8 .Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"

********** 
9.Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside.

Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside.

Mr Outside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.

**********
10.SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES

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11.The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.

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12.If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?   

"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"

********** 
13.We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. Watch? Whether the weather is hot.

Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is  whether we like it or not.

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14.Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.

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15 .A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue

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16.If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.

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17.Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See,  Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed  Soar's seesaw.....

**********

Indore....

Woh Cloth Market ki pani puri, woh 56 Dukan ki chaat,
Woh Monica ki ice cream, Wah usme thi kya baat.

Woh Madhuram ki mithai, woh Vijay chaat ka patis,
Woh Dhenu Market ki pav bhaji aur Nagori ki shikanji.
Woh Celebrations ke puff, woh Shri Maya ka khana,
Woh Shivaji Vatika ke Chinese, woh Sarafa ka raat ka "Mahol".

Woh 98.4 fm ka radio "mirchi", Woh apne 'Bike' pe ghumna,
Woh malharganj ke pathhe Woh raj mohalla ka Tent House

Woh Badon ka pyaar, Woh chotto ke saath khelna,
Woh rikshaw ka 'suffer', woh Bijasen ki hawa,

Woh Meghdoot Garden ke Phavvare aur Market ka sama.
Woh december ki zara si sardi, woh baarishon ke mahiney,

Woh garmi ki chhuttiyan, jab choottey they paseeney.
Woh holi ki masti, woh navratri ka garba,

Woh diwali ke patakhe aur ganpati ka shor sharaba
Woh M.G. raod ka mahol, woh A. B. road ki leheren,

Woh doobte suraj ka nazara, Wah uske kya kehene.
Woh bachpan ki yaaden, woh gotion kaa khel,

Woh Ghandhi Hall ke jhule, jahaa hothey they mele.
Woh Mr. Beans ki coffee, aur Man mandir mein Weekend,

Woh Gomat Giri ka nazara aur Appllo Tower.
Woh Sapna Sangita cinema ke queue, woh black ki pink ticket,

Woh Ram Bagh aur Dushera maidan, jahan bachche practice karte hain cricket.

Itni cheezen kehene ke baad, aur kitni karoon? mein baat,

Yeh shehar hain mera apna,jiska naam hai
INDORE...


INDORE MERI JAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

Why do we shout in anger?

This one is a lovely mail and you should read it….. A good one too……..I am sure you will like it. A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?' Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.' 'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?' Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint. Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.' Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...' The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.' MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other

Urgent vacancy.....

Urgent vacancy for the post of Girl Friend on occasions of Valentine's Day!!!!

 

Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are mentioned below.

Designation : Junior girl friend (trainee)
Experience : Must have ditched at least 2 guys (Fresher with excellent credentials will be considered)
Other requirement : Should have the Potential to do street bargaining and fight if required.

Age : 18-26 (if the individual is too good looking but not in the age group can also apply, special consideration will undertaken for them)
Height, weight, complexions no bar, but is subjective.

Perks and incentives:
Total gross ( Monthly ) :
· 2 gifts worth not exceeding Rs. 1000/-(no precious metals, stones)
· bike rides each duration 1 hour
· trips to National Highways
· 5 Trips to Hanuman Mandir / Isckon Temple
· Kulfis / Chocobars at a regular gap of 3 days
· Daily Provision of Samosa/Bread Pakoda/Bhel worth Rs. 10 /-
· 2 movies (Family movies only) per month (on weekends)
· Visits to Shopping Malls and BARISTA every Weekend (On your own expense)

A Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to demand will be gifted, subject to finance availability and to the size available with the shopkeeper.

Net Deductions (Monthly): Affair Fund and un-professional taxes will be informed on joining
The probation period is 6 months, after which confirmation (with Promotion to fulltime Girlfriend)

Plz NOTE:
1. Only females.
2. Girls who left in the last 2 months need not apply.
3. Ex-girlfriends will be eligible only if they agree to the above mentioned conditions.

There is more:
For girls who are not eligible, can take advantage of the referral. Program by referring their friend, colleagues etc.

Candle light or Tube light dinner will be given on every referral, even if candidate is not selected.

Search,,,,,, , never ends!!
Interested candidates can send their resume with

Subject:
Name/fresher- exp/age.
Photo must be in attachment. to the email address via mail
Note: Applications without photo will be rejected.

 

How credit card Shopping works

Good Article on Credit Card Function….

 

 

Priya: I want to buy a Sony digital camera costing Rs.20,000, but I don't have any cash right now.

Raj: Why don't you use your ICICI Bank credit card? Never heard them say 'Hum Hain Na'  

Priya: I am quite skeptic about using these cards. I pay using the card, get a bill after 30 days and pay after another 20 days. This is a maximum of 50 days interest free loan. Why does any bank do it?

If I borrow Rs.20,000 on personal loan at 11%.
Interest to be paid for 50 days = Rs. 20,000 * 11% * (50/365) = Rs. 301.40.

Here the bank is giving me a loan without interest when I use the credit card. Something is wrong somewhere!

Raj: Well, let me tell you how it works when you use your card to pay for the camera.

• You present your ICICI Bank credit card , a VISA card.
• Sony World swipes your card on a machine provided by Citibank. Lets call Citibank, the acquirer bank and the process of Sony World swiping the card on that machine, requesting authorization .
• Citibank communicates with the card issuer, ICICI Bank through VISA Network to check if the card is valid and has the required credit limit.
• ICICI Bank reviews and approves / declines which is communicated back to Sony World.
• You sign a receipt called Sales Draft given by Citibank. This is the obligation on your part to pay the money to ICICI Bank. Data on this receipt can be captured electronically and transmitted.

At the end of day or at the end of some period Sony World chooses:

• Sony World submits the receipt you signed to Citibank who pays Sony World the money. Sony World pays Citibank a fee called Merchant Discount . Let us say this is 6% of the sale value = 6% * 20,000 = Rs. 1200
• Citibank sends the receipt electronically to a Visa data center which in turn sends it to ICICI Bank.
• ICICI Bank transfers the money to a settlement bank which in turn transfers the funds to Citibank.
• Citibank pays ICICI Bank an Interchange Fee of 4% of the sale value = 4% * 20,000 = Rs. 800
• 20 to 50 days later ICICI Bank gets the money from you, and you don't pay the interest!!

Priya: Interesting! So Sony World pays more than the interest that I should have paid for the loan that I take. I, as a cardholder have the following benefits

1.        Convenience of not having to carry cash.
2.        Credit availability, free of interest.

However what benefits does Sony World get for paying so much money, Isn't it more profitable for them to take cash? They can save as much as Rs.1200.

Raj: Certainly. Some retail outlets offer you discounts if you pay by cash, don't they?

However when you don't count the money that you are spending, you tend to buy more! Cards encourage this is called impulse purchase .

If you did not have access to credit, you would not have bought the camera this month, or may be not any time soon either. By accepting cards, the merchant is actually extending you credit at the risk of the card issuer. He pays money to the banks to carry that risk.

Priya: So ICICI Bank uses this money to pay back to us when they announce 5% cash back. They insist that the Sales draft that I sign at the retailer should also be from ICICI Bank. This means they are saving on the Interchange Fee and also pay me a part of the Merchant Discount that they get.

Raj: Exactly! If you have noticed, ICICI Bank gives you the cash back in the next credit card statement. They keep the cash back money for a maximum of 60 days before passing on a part to you. This accrues them interest too.

Say if ICICI Bank earns an interest of 6% per annum for the cash they carry, they get Rs.1000 * 6% * (60/365) = Rs. 10

That is not huge, but money nevertheless. And when you consider that almost everyone in this city shops with a credit card these days, it is a big sum.

Priya: And that also explains why banks tie up with petrol pumps, like ICICI Bank has tied up with HPCL and I could re-fuel there without having to pay the fuel surcharge of 2.5%. The card issuer and the acquiring bank is the same and that saves interchange fees.

Raj: Good! You seem to have figured out how it all works! Let me summarize:




All the numbers used to explain concepts in this article must be treated only as an example. Merchant Discounts may vary from bank to bank. Interchange Fee is regulated by VISA and MasterCard.
This article is contributed by Madhusudan  N  Sunkara . A vitality Hire from IIM Ahmedabad, Madhusudan  comes in with over 2 years of experience in telecom. Madhusudan has previously worked with Hughes Software Systems . He joined IGSI in May 2005 and is currently working as a Business Analyst in the Global Function Point Delivery Center at FSS.

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Santa banta --------------------------2009 laughther challenge

Banta k ghar ladka hua, par wo phir bhi dukhi tha?? Kyon?
Itne saalo baad, itni manato k baad ladka hua wo bhi chhota sa...!

Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya, gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.
Banta:-Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo.

Santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella mein hole kyu?
Sardar bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.

Teacher: Translate - Bazaar mein goliyan chal rahi hain.
Santa: The Tablets are walking in the market.

Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

Teacher: what do u call a person who cannot hear anything?
Santa: U can call him anything, because he cannot hear anything.