Out Of The Box Thinking!

Good Article on out of box thinking...  

Employee "A" in a company walked up to his manager and asked what my job is for the day? The manager took "A" to the bank of a river and asked him to cross the river and reach the other side of the bank. "A" completed this task successfully and reported back to the manager about the completion of the task assigned. The manager smiled and said "GOOD JOB" Next day Employee "B" reported to the same manager and asked him the job for the day. The manager assigned the same task as above to this person also. The Employee "B' before starting the task saw Employee "C" struggling in the river to reach the other side of the bank. He realized "C" has the same task. Now "B" not only crossed the river but also helped "C" to cross the river. "B" reported back to the manager and the manager smiled and said "VERY GOOD JOB" The following day Employee "Q" reported to the same manager and asked him the job for the day. The manager assigned the same task again. Employee "Q" before starting the work did some home work and realized "A", "B" & "C" all has done this task before. He met them and understood how they performed. He realized that there is a need for a guide and training for doing this task. He sat first and wrote down the procedure for crossing the river, he documented the common mistakes people made, and tricks to do the task efficiently and effortlessly. Using the methodology he had written down he crossed the river and reported back to the manager along with documented procedure and training material. The manger said "Q" you have done an "EXCELLENT JOB". The following day Employee "O' reported to the manager and asked him the job for the day. The manager assigned the same task again. "O" studied the procedure written down by "Q" and sat and thought about the whole task. He realized company is spending lot of money in getting this task completed. He decided not to cross the river, but sat and designed and implemented a bridge across the river and went back to his manager and said, "You no longer need to assign this task to any one". The manager smiled and said "Outstanding job 'O'. I am very proud of you." What is the difference between A, B, Q & O???????? Many a times in life we get tasks to be done at home, at office, at play…., Most of us end up doing what is expected out of us. Do we feel happy? Most probably yes. We would be often disappointed when the recognition is not meeting our expectation. Let us compare ourselves with "B". Helping some one else the problem often improves our own skills. There is an old proverb (I do not know the author) "learn to teach and teach to learn". From a company point of view "B" has demonstrated much better skills than "A" since one more task for the company is completed. "Q" created knowledge base for the team. More often than not, we do the task assigned to us without checking history. Learning from other's mistake is the best way to improve efficiency. This knowledge creation for the team is of immense help. Re-usability reduces cost there by increases productivity of the team. "Q" demonstrated good "team-player" skills, Now to the outstanding person, "O" made the task irrelevant; he created a Permanent Asset to the team. If you notice B, Q and O all have demonstrated "team performance" over an above individual performance; also they have demonstrated a very invaluable characteristic known as "INITIATIVE". Initiative pays of every where whether at work or at personal life. If you put initiative you will succeed. Initiative is a continual process and it never ends. This is because this year's achievement is next year's task. You cannot use the same success story every year. The story provides an instance of performance, where as measurement needs to be spread across at least 6-12 months. Consequently performance should be consistent and evenly spread. Out-of-Box thinkers are always premium and that is what every one constantly looks out for. Initiative, Out-of-Box thinking and commitment are the stepping stone to success. Initiative should be life long. Think of out of the box.

Wedding Passbook

Monica married Nick this day. At the end of the wedding party,
Monica's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook

with Rs.1000 deposit amount.

Mother: 'Monica, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your
marriage   life. When there's something happy and memorable happened
in your new   life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next
to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can
put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Nick.
When you look back after years, you can know how much
happiness you've had.'
 

Monica shared this with Nick when getting home. They both thought it
was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can
be made. This was what they did after certain time:
 

*         7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Nick after marriage
*         1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Monica
*         20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
*         15 Apr: Rs.2000, Monica got pregnant
*         1 Jun: Rs.1000, Nick got promoted
*         ..... and so on...
 

However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial
things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married
the nastiest people in the world.... no more love...Kind of typical
nowadays, huh?
 

One day Monica talked to her Mother: 'Mom, we can't stand it anymore.
We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!"

Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if
you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first.
Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out
all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a
poor marriage.'
 

Monica thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the
queue and planning to cancel the account. While she was waiting, she
took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and
looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just
came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and
went home.
 

When she was home, she handed the passbook to Nick, asked him to
spend the money before getting divorce.
 

The next day, Nick gave the passbook back to Monica. She found a new
deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I
notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much
happiness you've brought me.'
 

They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe. Do you
know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I
believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all
the good years in their life.

"When you fall in any way, don't see the place where you fell instead
see the place from where you slipped. Life is about correcting mistakes."

How to Survive a Heart Attack !!

Valuable Piece of information


Let's say it's 6.15p m and you're going home (alone of

course), after an unusually hard day on the job.

You're really tired, upset and frustrated.



Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your

chest that starts to adiate out into your arm and up

into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the

hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don't

know if you'll be able to make it that far. You have

been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the

course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.



HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE

Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart

attack, without help,the person whose heart is beating

improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only

about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.



However,these victims can help themselves by coughing

repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should

be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep

and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep

inside the chest.



A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two

seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until

the heart is felt to be beating normally again.



Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing

movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood

circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also

helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart

attack victims can get to a hospital. Tell as many

other people as possible about this. It could save

their lives!!



A cardiologist says If everyone who gets this mail

sends it to 10 people, you can bet that we'll save at

least one life.

Future Website.... Amazing..!!

 

Visit the future website. In this Website there is no need to click anywhere (except on the first page) to navigate through the site.Just move, dont click, ur mouse over the options u want to select.

 

  www.dontclick.it

 

Facts on Honey and Cinnamon:

Facts on Honey and Cinnamon:
 MIGHT TAKE A SERIOUS LOOK AT THIS FOLKS--NOT A JOKE

It is found that mixture of Honey and Cinnamon cures most diseases.Honey is produced in most of the countries of the world.
Today's science says that even though honey is sweet, if taken in the Right dosage as a medicine, it does not harm diabetic patients.
Weekly World News, a magazine in Canada, on its issue dated 17 January has given the following list of diseases that can be cured by Honey and Cinnamon as researched by western scientists.

HEART DISEASES: Make a paste of honey and cinnamon powder, apply on Bread, chapatti, or other bread, instead of jelly and jam and eat it Regularly for breakfast. It reduces the cholesterol in the arteries And saves the patient from heart attack. Also those who already had an Attack, if they do this process daily, they are kept miles away from The next attack Regular use of the above process relieves loss of breath and Strengthens the heartbeat. In America and Canada, various nursing homes Have treated patients successfully and have found that as age the Arteries and veins lose their flexibility and get clogged; honey and Cinnamon revitalizes the arteries and veins.

INSECT BITES : Take one part honey to two parts of lukewarm water and Add a small teaspoon of cinnamon powder, make a paste and massage it On the itching part of the body slowly. It is noticed that the pain Recedes within A minute or two.

ARTHRITIS: Arthritis patients may take daily, morning and night, one Cup of hot water with two spoons of honey and one small teaspoon of Cinnamon powder. If taken regularly even chronic arthritis can be Cured.  In a recent research conducted at the Copenhagen University, it Was  found that when the doctors treated their patients with a mixture of One tablespoon Honey and half teaspoon Cinnamon powder before Breakfast, they found that within a week out of the 200 people so
Treated practically 73 patients were totally relieved of pain and Within a month, mostly all the patients who could not walk or move Around because of arthritis started walking without pain.

HAIR LOSS: Those suffering from hair loss or baldness, may apply a Paste of hot olive oil, one tablespoon of honey, one teaspoon of Cinnamon powder before bath and keep it for approx. 15 min. And then Wash the hair. It was found to be effective even if kept on for 5 Minutes.
 
BLADDER INFECTIONS: Take two tablespoons of cinnamon powder and one Teaspoon of honey in a glass of lukewarm water and drink it. It Destroys the germs in the bladder.

TOOTHACHE: Make a paste of one teaspoon of cinnamon powder and five Teaspoons of honey and apply on the aching tooth. This may be applied 3 times a day till the tooth stops aching.

CHOLESTEROL: Two tablespoons of honey and three teaspoons of Cinnamon Powder mixed in 16 ounces of tea water, given to a cholesterol Patient, was found to reduce the level of cholesterol in the blood by 10% within 2 hours. As mentioned for arthritic patients, if taken 3 Times a day, any Chronic cholesterol is cured. As per information Received in the said journal, pure honey taken with food daily Relieves complaints of cholesterol.

COLDS: Those suffering from common or severe colds should take one Tablespoon lukewarm honey with 1/4 spoon cinnamon powder daily for 3 Days. This process will cure most chronic cough, cold and clear the Sinuses

UPSET STOMACH : Honey taken with cinnamon powder cures stomachache And also clears stomach ulcers from the root.
GAS: According to the studies done in India & Japan, it is revealed That if honey is taken with cinnamon powder the stomach is relieved of Gas.

IMMUNE SYSTEM: Daily use of honey and cinnamon powder strengthens the Immune system and protects the body from bacteria and viral attacks. Scientists have found that honey has various vitamins and iron in large amounts. Constant use of honey strengthens the white blood corpuscles to fight Bacteria and viral diseases.

INDIGESTION: Cinnamon powder sprinkled on two tablespoons of honey Taken before food, relieves acidity and digests the heaviest of meals.

INFLUENZA: A scientist in Spain has proved that honey contains a Natural ingredient, which kills the influenza germs and saves the Patient from flu.

LONGEVITY: Tea made with honey and cinnamon powder, when taken regularly arrests the ravages of old age. Take 4 spoons of honey, 1 spoon of cinnamon powder and 3 cups of water and boil to make like tea. Drink 1/4 cup, 3 to 4times a day. It keeps the skin fresh and soft and arrests old age. Life spans also increases and even a 100 year old, starts performing the chores of a 20-year-old.

PIMPLES: Three tablespoons of Honey and one teaspoon of cinnamon powder paste. Apply this paste on the pimples before sleeping and wash it next morning with warm water. If done daily for two weeks, it removes pimples from the root.
SKIN INFECTIONS : Applying honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts on the affected parts cures eczema, ringworm and all types of skin infections.

WEIGHT LOSS: Daily in the morning 1/2 hour before breakfast on an empty stomach and at night before sleeping, drink honey and cinnamon powder boiled in one-cup water. If taken regularly it reduces the weight of even the most obese person.  Also, drinking of this mixture regularly does not allow the fat to  accumulate in the body even though the person may eat a high calorie diet.

CANCER: Recent research in Japan and Australia has revealed that advanced cancer of the stomach and bones have been cured successfully. Patients suffering from these kinds of cancer should daily take one tablespoon of honey with one teaspoon of cinnamon powder for one month 3 times a day.

FATIGUE: Recent studies have shown that the sugar content of honey is more helpful rather than being detrimental to the strength of the body. Senior citizens, who take honey and cinnamon power in equal parts, are more alert and flexible.  Dr. Milton who has done research says that a half tablespoon honey taken in a glass of water and sprinkled with cinnamon powder, taken daily after brushing and in the afternoon at about 3.00 p.m. when the vitality of the body starts to decrease, increases the vitality of the body within a week.

BAD BREATH: People of South America, first thing in the morning gargle with one teaspoon of honey and cinnamon powder mixed in hot water. So their breath stays fresh throughout the day.

HEARING LOSS: Daily morning and night honey and cinnamon powder taken in equal parts restore hearing.

CAN'T HURT TO TRY IT, IT MAY WORK. NO KNOWN SIDE EFFECTS. JUST MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT ALLERGIC TO HONEY--HONEY!!!!!!!!!!!
                           

A good initiative from our Traffic Police Deptt.

The traffic police department has made available web portals to get live
information on traffic status, directions and auto fares for cities like
Bangalore, Hyderabad, Chennai and Pune. The portals also feature

1. Optimal routes between any two places in the city
2. Auto-fares
3. Bus routes and stops, etc.

http://www.dtis. in/ <http://www.dtis. in/>
for Delhi

http://www.chennait raffic.in/ <http://www.chennait raffic.in/>
for Chennai

http://www.btis. in/     <http://www.btis. in/directions. htm>
for Bangalore

http://www.htis. in/     <http://www.htis. in/directions. htm>
for Hyderabad

http://www.ptis. in/     <http://www.ptis. in/>
for Pune

Ramayan in Punjabi

World's Most Expensive AD

http://funzu.com/index.php/crazy-video/world-s-most-expensive-ad.html

Sardar strikes!!!!

 
Bhagwan and Banta!
Banta finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help.
He goes into the temple and begins to pray........... "Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto". Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.
Banta goes back to the temple................. "Bhagwan, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well". Lotto night comes and Banta still has no luck!! Back to the temple........... "My Bhagwan, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving.. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???".
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and Banta is confronted by the voice of Lord "BANTA, BUY THE DAMN TICKET FIRST".
--------------

Keep  laughing

3 answers most feared by Guys...

Three answers most feared by Guys:-


1. (Whatever)

Men: What to have for dinner?
Women: Whatever..
Men: Why not we have steamboat?
Women: Don't want, eat steamboat later got pimples in my face
Men: Alright, why not we have Si Chuan cuisine
Women: Yesterday ate Si Chuan, today eat again?
Men: Hmm..... I suggest we have seafood
Women: Seafood no good, later I got diarrhea
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women : Whatever..




2. (Anything)

Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything
Men: How about watching movie? Long time we didn't watch movie
Women: Watching movie no good, waste time only
Men: How about we play bowling, do some exercises?
Women: Exercise in such hot day? You not feel tire meh?
Men: Then find a café and have drink
Women: Drink coffee will affect my sleep
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: Anything


3. (You decide)

Men: Then we just go home
Women: You decide
Men: Let take bus, I will accompany you
Women: Bus is dirty and crowded. Don't want
Men: Ok we will take Taxi
Women: Not worth it... for such a short distance
Men: Alright, then we walk. Take a slow walk
Women: What to walk with empty stomach woh?
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: You decide
Men: Let's have dinner first
Women: Whatever...
Men: Eat what?
Women: Anything !

 

What is Love?

What is Love? In a classroom there were several kids, when one of them asked the teacher: - Teacher, what is LOVE ? The teacher felt the kid deserved the best answer she could give to that intelligent question. Since it was almost time for a break, she asked every student to go around the school and come back with something that would bring the feeling of love. The kids rushed out the classroom, and when they came back the teacher said: - So, I want everybody to show what you brought to the whole class. The first kid said: - I brought this FLOWER, isn't it beautiful ? The second kid said: - I brought this BUTTERFLY. Look at these colorful wings, I am gonna put it in my collection ! The third kid said: - I brought this YOUNG BIRD. It had fallen with another one from the nest. Isn't it cute ? And the kids were showing what they brought. After almost everybody had showed their discoveries, the teacher noticed that there was a kid who had been quiet all the time. She was ashamed because she had not brought anything.The teacher went to her and asked: - My dear, why haven't you brought anything ? She then answered in an innocent voice: - I am sorry teacher. I saw the FLOWER, and felt its perfume. I was going to take it, but I preffered to leave it so its perfume would last longer and others could feel it. I also saw the BUTTERFLY, soft, colorful..she seemed so happy that I did not want to disturb it. I also saw the YOUNG BIRD that had fallen between the leafs, but as I climbed the tree, I noticed the said look of it's mother, so I decided to return it to the nest. Therefore, I only bring with me: the perfume of the flower, the feeling of liberty of the butterfly and the gratefulness of the look of the little bird's mother. How can I show you what I brought? The teacher thanked the young kid and gave her an A, because she was the only one that realized that we can only bring LOVE in our hearts.

The Purpose of Life is to .......

The Purpose of Life is to ....... Share Your Love.  Truly pursue this purpose in life with passion, and all the others will follow naturally!  Love everyone, and start with those closest to you.   Give to Others.  You can make a difference in the world!  Choose to serve and give in small ways right now.  One purpose of life is to serve others.   Increase in Light.  Your spirit and body can actually hold light.  Learn to flow with light, bringing it into your life and letting it flow out to others.  Increase your light bearing capacity by following the truth you know..   Learn Wisdom.  Pursue wisdom not as your final purpose, but for the love of Wisdom and also to better serve others with increased talents.  Read the best books and learn all you can.  Truth is eternal, and you can take it with you!   Accept Yourself.  Love who you are.  Your birth, body, parents, strengths, weaknesses and nationality all have a purpose.  Accept your purpose and your talents.  Feel your emotions and allow them to flow.   Enjoy the Mystery.  Wonder at the beauty and richness of life, without trying to figure it all out.  See the world in childlike simplicity and joy.   Create Your Reality.  In this sphere, you choose with your thoughts what to create.  Be bold in life, and decide what you really want.  Move toward all your dreams with a powerful vision! Choose now to maximize your creative mind   Follow the Spirit.  Trust your inner voice that leads you and prompts you into the higher paths.  Learning to follow this Holy Spirit is one of the purposes of life.  As you listen to the spirit, you will achieve greater inspiration for all your daily activities.   Revel in the Present.  Find joy, focus, and engagement in every present activity.  Your point of personal power is the present moment.  You can only act in the present.  As you live in the now, you conquer the illusion of time and begin to live in Holographic Time.   Experience Joy.  The ultimate purpose of this life is joy and happiness.  We maximize our joy by pursuing it indirectly.  Simply pursue the purposes of life and the Joy will flow magnetically to you.

Boys will be Boys... :)

Boys will be Boys…..

 

 

 

Boy : Suit bada acha pehna hai

Girl : Thanx

Boy : Lipstik bahut achi lagai hai

Girl : Thanx

Boy : Make up bhi bahut acha kia hai

Girl : Thanx "bhaiya"

 

Boy (after thinking): Fir bhi sundar nahi lag rahi ho!!!!! J   

light moments

The Next time you think your hotel bill is too high, consider this:

Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston After almost twenty-four hours on the road, They're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a hotel and sleep for four hours and then plan to get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.00.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00! When the clerk tells him $350.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge  conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.

'But we didn't use them,' the man complains.

'Well, they are here, and you could have,' explains the manager.  He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous.  'The best entertainers from New York , Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here,' the manager says.

'But we didn't go to any of those shows,' complains the man again.

'Well, we have them, and you could have,' the manager replies.

No matter what amenity the manager mentions, the man replies, 'But we didn't use it!'

The manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the manager.

The manager is surprised when he looks at the check.

'But sir,' he says, this check is only made out for $50.00.'

'That's correct,' says the man. 'I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with my wife.'

'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.

'Well, too bad,' the man replies. 'She was here and you  could have.'  

High Risk - Nice Joke

HR After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying; My friend, you have not worked here for even one day. The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain. Manager:- How many days are there in a year? Man:- 365 days and some times 366 Manager:- how many hours make up a day? Man:- 24 hours Manager:- How long do you work in a day? Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day. Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours? Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e . 1/3(one third) Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days? Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days) Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends? Man:- No sir Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends? Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have? Man:- 18 days. Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining? Man:- 4 days Manager:- Do you work on New Year day? Man:- No sir! Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day? Man:- No sir! Manager:- So how many days are left? Man:- 2 days sir! Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )? Man:- No sir! Manager:- So how many days are left? Man:- 1 day sir! Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day? Man:- No sir! Manager:- So how many days are left? Man:- None sir! Manager:- So, what are you claiming? Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days. Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!   HR=HIGH RISK

Management Lesson

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus,

And drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops - a few
people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet
eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at
the driver and said, 'Big John doesn't pay!' and sat down at the back.

Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and
Basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but
he wasn't happy about it.

The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a
show of refusing to pay, and sat down.

And the next day, and the next.

This disturbed on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the
Way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no
longer.

He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that
Good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's
more, he felt really good about himself.

So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and
said, 'Big John doesn't pay!'

The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed,
'And why not?'

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, 'Big John has a
bus pass.'

MANAGEMENT LESSON:

Be Sure to Identify the Problem Clearly before Working Hard to Solve
it.

Nice one..Intelligent old man

Intelligent old man


After 48 years of marriage, an elderly man in Bombay calls his son in NewYork and says, "I hate to ruin your day son, but I
have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of misery is enough!"
"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says."We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you
call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!"
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls Bombay immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow.
Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??" and she hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife."Okay", he says, "It's all set. They're both coming for Diwali and paying
their own airfare!!"

 

Note:  No man / woman are busy in this world all 365 days. The sky is not going to fall down if you take few days LEAVE and meet your dear ones. Atleast your PARENTS. After all, you are now what you are because of THEM. OFFICE WORK IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE and MONEY MAKING IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE. These two things anybody can get in life, but not "TRUE LOVE". Take care.

 

Do Not maximize screen after website opens (Don't miss it...Really Awesome)

 

 
 

 
Do Not maximize the screen after the website opens

 
 

World's shortest essay...!!

This is a story of a 16 year old boy from New Hampshire who won the World's shortest essay competition. He was awarded a scholarship at the University of Harvard for his Imagination and humor ....Here's an example of absolute Brilliance.. .. Shortest Essay: An English university creative writing class was asked to write a Concise essay containing the following elements: 1) Religion 2) Royalty 3) Sex 4) Mystery And…… - - - - - The prize-winner wrote: "My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder who the father is."

.

Have you heard the story of " The Washer man and the Foolish Donkey" ?

Worth spending two minutes reading , Toooooooooooooo goooooddddddddddddddddddd............
 
Have you heard the story of " The Washer man and the Foolish Donkey" ?    

To refresh your memory, and for the benefit of those who have not grown up listening to this moral story, it goes like this…

There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson. The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly. Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.

Moral of the story " One must not engage in duties other than his own"

Now take a new look at the same  story…

The washer man ( J ) was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it. Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet. The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dogs duties as well. In the annual appraisal the dog managed a " meets requirement" . Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around. The donkey was rated as " star performer". The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards. Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a job rotation…
 
Disclaimer:

All characters in the story are not at all imaginary. Any resemblance to person living or dying of work is purely intentional

Actresses

 

This isn't just fun to watch, it is amazing. 

Click on the link below.  Chances are, you will see your favorite
actress at some point during this presentation.   The
"morphing" is remarkable.  Whoever put this together
deserves some accolades. 

http://glumbert.com/wii/view.php?name=womenfilm

Height of Innocence

lllllllll  Height of Innocence..... lllllllll

A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his
mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby.."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She answered, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked,

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"Then why did you eat him??"

__._,_.___

No Way Out ..DeadLock

Time to brush up your OS concepts mates
 
 
 
Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad,
so make arrangement.

Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and
I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going
abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: I have work for a week, so you need
not come for class.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a
week I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Lets
spend the week together.

Grandpa(the 1^st boss ;) ) make call to his secretary: This week I am
spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend
that meeting.

Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss
has some work, we cancelled our trip.

Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend
this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: This week we will have class as usual.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my
teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I
can't give you company.

Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don't worry this
week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement .


This is called deadlock J J J

ek joke (obviously on SARDAR JI)

A policeman was interrogating 3 SARDARS who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first SARDAR a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.



"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first SARDAR answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second SARDAR and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second SARDAR smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third SARDAR and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him? He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The SARDAR looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy," the SARDAR replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

Tounge Twisters.... ( Have a Try )

1. If you understand, say "understand". If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand".How do I understand that you understand? Understand!

2. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.

3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.

4. A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.

5. Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People

6. If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

7. I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.

8. Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"

9. Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.

10. SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES

11. The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.

12. If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?

"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"

13. We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.

14. Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.

15. A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue

16. If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.

17. Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw

Male and Female Parrots

A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem.  I have these two talking female parrots, 
but they only know how to say one thing.  They keep saying "Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?"

 

"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed. "But I do have a solution to your problem.  Bring your two parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots to whom I have taught to pray  and read the bible.  My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase,  and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship."

 

So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house.  The priest's two male parrots are  holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her  female talking parrots in with the male talking  Parrots, and the  female parrots say, " Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?"

 

One male  parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams,  " Put your Bible away,  idiot.  Our prayers have been answered  ! ! ! ! !

 

Gentle Reminder : LOVE is in the air :-)

Have You Ever Given A THOUGHT
What Life Has Become All ABOUT
Our WINDOWS Open On The Face Of GATES
When It Should Be Our LIFE-MATES

We Play Around With MOUSE
When It Should Be Our SPOUSE
Always Our Hands Are On The KEYS
When It Should Be On Our 'WOULD-BEES'

How Long Can You Go On CODING
When You Should Be At Ooty BOATING
Hey You Robots Running After CAREER
Listen To This MATTER

Behind every successful man is a WOMAN
Behind every successful woman is a MAN
And That You Cannot Get Fiddling Alone With LAN-WAN
Life Is Not Just COBOL,
It Is Also PYAR-KE-DO-BOL(sharing moments of love)

Life Is Not Just C-PLUS-PLUS
It Is Also love-PLUS-PLUS
Life Is Not Just DEBUGGING
It Is Also HUGGING.....

SO Once In A While Think TWICE
Life Will Be So NICE
If One Gets Out Of 'if-then-else' & WHILE LOOPS
And Goes Out With Friends For Dates, FRUIT-SALADS & SOUPS

C'mon End This Life Of ROBOTISM
And Fill It With ROMANTICISM
C'mon All The Software Romeos (And Juliets)
Lets Take A Vow

All Boring ROUTINES
And SUB-ROUTINES
PROCEDURES Out Will We THROW
And Seeds Of LOVE And CARE Shall We Sow

PRICELESS WORDS......

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees
is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that
it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.
Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and
sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye
when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks,
"So, why is everything in order and so clean, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off,
you said,

"LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"

Moral
Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk – "PRICELESS "

 

There are truly some things that both money and Mastercard  can't buy

 

Jame Raho.. Read it

For Project People:

Kas ke joota Kas ke belt
khons ke andar apni shirt
Office ko chali sawaari
kandhon pe hai zimmedari

haath mein notebook man mein dum
Aaj to CR execute karenge hum
har issue se takrayenge
Migration k baad hi ghar jayenge hum

Project ka naara jame raho
TL ka ishaara jame raho
Project ka naara jame raho
TL ka ishaara jame raho

ye sote bhee hain attention
Testing karne ki hai tension
mehnat inko pyari hai
ekdum aagyakari hain

ye Cafeteria par hi jeete hain
ye Chai Coffee peete hain
bewaqt sote bewaqt khate
taan ke seena badhte jate

Project ka naara jame raho...

For Bench People:

yahaan alag andaz hai
jaise chidta koi saaz hai
har kaam ko taala karte hain
ye sapne paala karte hain

ye hardum socha karte hain
ye khud se poocha karte hain

kyon project ka naara jame raho...

ye project ke kabhi ghulam nahin
inhe kisi baat ka dhyan nahin
Girlfriend se milne jaate hain
Mobile par batiyate hain

ye mails forward karte hain
novels saare padhte hai
aur company k discussion forum pe
ye kalakariyan karte hain

Bench ka naara jame raho..

ENJOY THIS CALENDAR LINK!!!........... its real fun

 

Check the video for each and every month.. very funny..
 
EnjoyJ
                                                         
http://www.multimedia.cz/pf2008/index_en.html  

What do women want ?... Good one

This is very interesting..........(to women) please take time to ponder........(to men) enjoy the story........

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, If after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question was: What do women really want?
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, He accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: The princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, For only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous through out the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, The most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, And Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, Smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.
He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden,
But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life. And the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered. Arthur's question thus: "What a woman really wants?"
She said, "Is to be in charge of her own life."
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth. And that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was.
The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom.
And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom.
But, what a sight awaited him.
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed.
The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, She would henceforth be her horrible and deformed self only half the time. And the beautiful maiden the other half.
"Which would you prefer? She asked him. "Beautiful during the day .... or at night?"
Lancelot pondered the predicament.
During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends,
But at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!
Or,
Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day?
But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments with?




(If you are a man reading this...) What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this) What would YOUR MAN'S choice be?
What Lancelot chose, is given below:
BUT... make YOUR choice before you scroll down below... OKAY?
 
 

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Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question, He said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
 
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time. Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now... what is the moral to this story?

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The moral is...
1) There is witch in every woman no matter how beautiful she is!
2) If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly.            

So, always remember:

IT'S EITHER "HER WAY" OR IT'S "NO WAY" !!!