Monday, December 31, 2007

OOPS ..........Concepts [Must Read]



 


 

 

class Indian_Bachelor_ female_professional
{
double styles;
short skirts;
long time_to_understand_ problems;
float mind;
void knowledge();
char non_co_operative;
};

 

 





class
Married_female_ Software_ Professional
{
double weight;
short tempered;
long gossips;
float hopes;
void work();
char unstable;
};

 

 





class
Female_Engaged_ software_ professional
{
double time_on_phone;
short attention_on_ work;
long boast;
float on_cloud_nine;
void understanding( );
char edgy;
};

class
Indian_Newly_ Married_software _professional
{
double dinner_invitations;
short time_at_work;
long lunch_breaks;
float talks;
void bank_balance( );
char hen_pecked;
};

 

 





class
Indian_husband_ wife_software_ professional
{
double income;
short temper;
long time_no_see;
float new_software_ company;
void lov
};

 

 




Class Guy_who_wrote_ this
{
Long time_on_bench;
Void work();
}
Class Guy_who_read_ this inherits Guy_who_wrote_ this
{
} 


Confusing Name...Funny

AAKHIR YE LADKIYA KYA CHAHATI HAI






Kabhi Hamain Dekh Kar Muskurati Hain

Aur Kabhi Nakhray Deekhati Hain

Aakhir Larkiyan Kia Chahti Hain

Tammam Kaam Larkon Say Nikalwati Hain

Aur Phir Moon Phair Kar Chali Jati Hain

Aakhir Larkian Kia Chati Hain

Hamain Muskura Kar Ghar Bulati Hain

Aur Phir Apnay Bhaioon Say Pitwati Hain

Aakhir Larkian Kia Chati Hain

Mood Hoota Hay To Baat Karti Hain

Warna Youn Hi Chali Jati Hain

Aakhir Larkian Kia Chati Hain

Apni Haar Say Hamain Tarpati Hain

Aur Dil Dharka Kar Chali Jati Hain

Aakhir Larkian Kia Chati Hain


Apnay Shohroon Ko Kabze Main Kar Kay

Saasoon Ko Rulati Hain

Aakhir Larkian Kia Chati Hain

Apnay Shohroon Say Ghar Kay Kaam Karwati Hain

Aur Khud Aaram Farmati Hain

Aakhir Larkian Kia Chati Hain

Aakhir Yeh Larkian Hamain Kyun Hain Pasand

Kyun Kay Sawan Ki Tarah Aati Hain Aur Chali Jatee Hain

Aur Kuch Dil Main Reh Jati Hain

Shayad Larkian Yehi Chati Hain ..!

Or Ye Kia Chahti Hai ...... ????????

Friday, December 28, 2007

The Corporate Language



 

 

The Corporate language !!  


"We will do it"

means
" You will do it"



"You have done a great job"

means
"More work to be given to you"



"We are working on it"

means
"We have not yet started working on the same"



"Tomorrow first thing in the morning"

means
"Its not getting done...
At least not tomorrow !".



"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views"

means
"I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"



"There was a slight miscommunication"

means
"We had actually lied"



"Lets call a meeting and discuss"

means
"I have no time now, will talk later"



"We can always do it"

means
"We actually cannot do the same on time"



"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline"

means
"The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."



"We had slight differences of opinion"

means
"We had actually fought"



"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you"

means
"Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"



"You should have told me earlier"

means
"Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"



"We need to find out the real reason"

means
"Well I will tell you where your fault is"



"Well... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected"

means
"Well you know..."



"We are a team"

means
"I am not the only one to be blamed"



"That's actually a good question"

means
"I do not know anything about it"

THIS IS THE BEST

 

 

"All the Best"
means
" You are in trouble"


Thursday, December 27, 2007

Monday, December 24, 2007

Great Christmas Animation


Be Sure and Click on
~ NEXT ~ at Bottom of Page
 
 
 

Christmas Card


This is most unique Christmas card I have ever seen -- you click on one of the lighted items and  it jumps into another wonderful scene - it goes from page to page and each page is better than  the previous page......also requires sound - Give each page time to download once you click on  something.   Left click for each page.
 


Saturday, December 22, 2007

love marriage & arranged marriage



Very true 
   Love Marriage Arranged Marriage
Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to  movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like. Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The functions are added to supplement  the main program. The functions  can be added or deleted.
It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a  dynamic system and difficult to  maintain. Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible
Family system hangs because  hardware (called parents) is not responding. Compatible with hardware  (Parents).
You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life. You are a team member under project leader (parents) so they    are responsible for successful   execution of project Married life.
Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc. All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.
Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy. Product is sold on an as is where is basis. Product once sold will not be taken back!
Love Marriage is like Windows , beautiful n seductive.... Yet  one never knows when it will crash.... Arranged Marriage is like   Unix... boring n colorless...  still extremely reliable n robust.



Thursday, December 20, 2007

Touching Story


A man came home from work late, tired and irritated,  to find his 5-year  old son waiting for him at the door.

SON:  "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"

DAD:  "Yeah sure, what is it?" replied the man.

SON:  "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD:  "That's none of your business. Why do you ask   such a thing?"  the man said angrily.

SON:    "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an  hour?"

DAD:    "If you must know, I make Rs.100 an hour."

SON:    "Oh," the little boy replied, with his head  down.

SON:  "Daddy, may I please borrow Rs.50?"

The father was furious, "If the only reason you asked that is so you  can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then  you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about  why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this  childish behavior."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the  door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little  boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some  money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that  Rs.50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.
"Are you asleep, son?" He asked.

"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.

"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier" said the  man.

"It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the  Rs.50 you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. "Oh, thank you daddy!" He  yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry  again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

"Why do you want more money if you already have some?" the father  grumbled.

"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied.

" Daddy, I have Rs. 100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?

Please come home early tomorrow I would like to have dinner with you"

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We  should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some  time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.

Do remember to share that Rs.100 worth of your time with someone you  love.

 
If we die tomorrow, the family & friends we leave behind will feel  the loss for the  rest of their lives.  And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family
--

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Learn from a s/w engineer


Once a smart S/W engineer and his Project Manager were traveling towards Ooty in a train. Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her grand ma. With in some time, Eye-Eye interactions started between Our S/W engineer & that girl. After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very dark.

Suddenly, every body heard a Kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping.
Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.


Grand ma thought that," The Guy is a rogue; how dare he is? He has kissed my grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine; she immediately slapped that guy."


PM thought that,"I can't believe that this guy has kissed that girl! But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake"


That girl thought that,"I feel happy, when that guy kissed me, but I feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him".


Finally, do u know what our clever S/W engineer thought?


"
This one minute in my life is wonderful, It hardly comes...because, at a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my PM."


Monday, December 17, 2007

Even GOD CANNOT DO SOME THINGS !! funny!

 

This is so gud :))))))))))))))))))

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded, and in a booming voice the Lord said,
 
 
"Because you have tried to be faithful to me, I will grant you one wish".
 
 
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I
want."
 
 
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormity
of the undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the
Pacific! The concrete and steel it will take! It will nearly exhaust all
the natural resources. It is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.
Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me".
 
 
The man thought about it for a long time.
 
 
Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. How she
feels inside, what she's thinking when she's silent? Why she cries, what
she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how to make her truly happy".
 
 
The Lord replied, "You want four lanes or six lanes on that bridge
 
 
 

ah..


Joke: Interview at Infosys



Joke: Interview at Infosys

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am Kondesh Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.

Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!
Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it. What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly in 12th. I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I cannot invest so much of money". (The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.

Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.
Candidate : Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know , these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments..It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.

Interviewer : Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Candidate: No, no.. I am talking about Exams!!

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when I flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative ..

Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?
Candidate: He he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain!!

Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?
Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)

Interviewer: And which languages have you used?
Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!

Interviewer : Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Candidate : Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Interviewer: What is your general project experience?
Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times they are in pipeline!

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.

Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers', 'hotfixes', 'SEI-CMM', 'quality', 'versioncontrol', 'deadlines', 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?
Candidate: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe . But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in 2007,I don't mind going there in that period . As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Interviewer: He he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. :-)) We look forward to working with you .. welcome to Infosys :-)

 

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Stupid questions.....Smart answers



 

STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:

BOY: May I hold your hand?
GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy
.

GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY: You love me...


GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY: Sure, what's your phone number??


GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple


GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY: Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY: I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL: How soon??


BOY: I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL: Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.


MAN: You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN: Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN: NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE: You tell a man something; it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND: You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.


MARY: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
PETER: A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

2) Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil: "The moon".
Teacher: "Why?"
Pupil: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".


3) Teacher: "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil: "A teacher".

4) Waiter: "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer: "What other colors do you have?"

5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

6) Teacher: "Sam, you talk a lot!"
Sam: "It's a family tradition".
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Sam: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher: "What about your mother?"
Sam: "She's a woman".


9) Teacher: "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam: "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".


10) Patient: "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor: "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".


11) Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."


12) Teacher: " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
One Student: "Because George still had the axe in is hand."

 



Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Little Love Story


 

What Love is?

The story begins like this...

'How long will you be poring over that newspaper? Will you come here right away and make your darling daughter eat her food?'

I tossed the paper away and rushed to the scene.
My only daughter Shafei looked frightened.
Tears were welling up in her eyes. In front of her was a bowl filled to its brim with Curd Rice.

Shafei is a nice child, quite intelligent for her age.
She has just turned eight. She particularly detested Curd Rice.
My mother and my wife are orthodox, and believe firmly in the 'cooling effects' of Curd Rice!

I cleared my throat, and picked up the bowl.
"Shafei, darling, why don't you take a few mouthful of this Curd Rice? Just for Dad's sake, dear. And, if you don't, your Mom will shout at me.'

I could sense my wife's scowl behind my back.
Shafei softened a bit, and wiped her tears with the back of her hands.
'OK, Dad. I will eat - not just a few mouthfuls, but the whole lot of this. But, you should...' Shafei hesitated. 'Dad, if I eat this entire Curd Rice, will you give me whatever I ask for?'

'Oh sure, darling'.

'Promise?'

'Promise'. I covered the pink soft hand extended by my daughter with mine, and clinched the deal.

'Ask Mom also to give a similar promise', my daughter insisted.
My wife slapped her hand on Shafei's, muttering 'Promise', without any emotion.

Now I became a bit anxious.
'Shafei, you shouldn't insist on getting a computer or any such expensive items.
Dad does not have that kind of money right now. OK?'

'No, Dad. I do not want anything expensive'.
Slowly and painfully, she finished eating the whole quantity.
I was silently angry with my wife and my mother for forcing my child eat something that she detested.

After the ordeal was through, Shafei came to me with her eyes wide with expectation.
All our attention was on her.
'Dad, I want to have my head shaved off, this Sunday!' was her demand!

'Atrocious!' shouted my wife, 'a girl child having her head shaved off? Impossible!'.

'Never in our family!' my mother rasped.
'She has been watching too much of television. Our culture is getting totally spoiled with these TV programs!'

'Shafei, why don't you ask for something else?
We will be sad seeing you with a clean-shaven head.'

'No, Dad. I do not want anything else', Shafei said with finality.

'Please, Shafei, why don't you try to understand our feelings?' I tried to plead with her.

'Dad, you saw how difficult it was for me to eat that Curd Rice'.
Shafei was in tears.
'And you promised to grant me whatever I ask for.
Now, you are going back on your words.
Was it not you who told me the story of King Harishchandra, and its moral that we should honour our promises no matter what?'

It was time for me to call the shots.
'Our promise must be kept.'

'Are you out your mind?' chorused my mother and wife.

'No. If we go back on our promises, she will never learn to honour her own. Shafei, your wish will be fulfilled.'

With her head clean-shaven, Shafei had a round-face, and her eyes looked big & beautiful.

On Monday morning, I dropped her at her school.
It was a sight to watch my hairless Shafei walking towards her classroom.
She turned around and waved. I waved back with a smile.
Just then, a boy alighted from a car, and shouted, 'Shafei, please wait for me!'

What struck me was the hairless head of that boy. 'May be, that is the in-stuff', I thought.

'Sir, your daughter Shafei is great indeed!'
Without introducing herself, a lady got out of the car, and continued,
'That boy who is walking along with your daughter is my son Harish. He is suffering from ... Leukaemia.'

She paused to muffle her sobs.
'Harish could not attend the school for the whole of the last month.
He lost all his hair due to the side effects of the chemotherapy.
He refused to come back to school fearing the unintentional but cruel teasing of the schoolmates.
Shafei visited him last week, and promised him that she will take care of the teasing issue. But, I never imagined she would sacrifice her lovely hair for the sake of my son!
Sir, you and your wife are blessed to have such a noble soul as your daughter.'

I stood transfixed.
And then, I wept.
'My little Angel, will you grant me a boon?
Should there be another birth for me, will you be my mother, and teach me what Love is?'

.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Words of Wisdom

> Words of Wisdom!!!
>
> A long time ago in China, a girl named Li-Li got married and went to
> live with her husband and mother-in-law.
> In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along with
> her mother-in-law at all. Their personalities were very different, and
> Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she
> criticized Li-Li constantly.
>
> Days passed days, and weeks passed weeks. Li-Li and her
> mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the
> situation even
> worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to
> bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and
> unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband great
> distress.
>
> Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and
> dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it.
> Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs.
>
> She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so
> that she could solve the problem once and for all.
> Mr. Huang thought for a while, and finally said, "Li-Li, I will help
> you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell
> you."
>
> Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do."
> Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with
> a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't use a quick-acting poison
> to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to
> become suspicious.
>
> Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will
> slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some
> delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now,
> in order to make sure that nobody suspects you when she dies, you must
> be very careful to act very friendly towards her.
>
> Don't argue with her,obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen."
> Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home tos start
> her plot of murdering her mother-in-law. Weeks went by, and months went
> by,and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her
> mother-in-law.
>
> She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding
> suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law,
> and treated her like her own mother.
>
> After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li
> had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she
> almost never got mad or upset.
>
> She hadn't had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because
> she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.
> The mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love
> Li-Li like
> her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was
> the best
> daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now
> treating
> each other like a real mother and daughter. Li-Li's husband was very happy
> tosee what was happening.
>
> One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again.
> She said, "Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing
> my mother-in-law! She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her
> her." Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, there's nothing
> to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were
> vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and
> your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the
> love which you gave to her."
>
> MORAL: Have you ever realised that how you treat others is exactly
> how they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying: 'The person who
> loves others will also be loved in return.'
>
> God might be trying to work in another person's life through you. If
> this message has touched your heart please forward it to your friends
> so they too can join in the power of prayer. You just never know who
> might need it. And remember Jesus did something for you by dying on the
> cross at Calvary, now do something for him by Spreading his word, and
> you'll definately be rewarded.
> GOD BLESS YOU.
>

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Leave Applications --------------




 

"Its better to Burn Out than to Fade Away".....

 

From:


See , How people write leave Applications. It's murder of English language. But Too Funny.

Just Read It.


The Leave Applications;

·
Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:

"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave."





·
This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:



"as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

 




·
Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

 




·
From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

 




·
Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

 




·
An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday."

 




·
A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

 




·
Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

 




·
Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."

 




·
Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

 




·
Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

 




·
Letter writing:-
"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."

 




·
A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~

 



Wednesday, November 28, 2007

PJ new stock



1
...JISKA EK BI DOST NAI USKO KYA BOLTE???
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"koena mitra" (koi-na-mitra)


2... once rani mukharjee was given punishment 2 eat 1000 chewingums. she was scared bt den suddenly saif ali khan said sumtin in her ears n she started eatin how???
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coz saif said"chak de chak de,chakde sare GUM,chakde chakde chakde,tere sung hai hum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"




3...suppose ek ladki baarish me bheeg rahi hai t o tum use pani se kaise bachaoge?
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...simple hai yaar...use apna dil dedo...dil CHAHTA(umbrella) hai!!!"



4..ek calculator dusre calci ko kya bola?
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..."CASIO???"...(kaisi-ho?)





5... WHOS DA ONLY PLAYER WHO KNOS EACH N EVRY RELIGIOUS SONG?

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HAR-BHAJAN-SINGH


6...agar aap 90 baar paap karoge to keval 45 baar hi pakde jaoge......batao kyu????

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because....

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sin 90=cot 45 


Easy & Difficult



EASY ....... DIFFICULT

Easy
is to get a place is someone's address book.
Difficult
is to get a place in someone's heart.


Easy
is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult
is to recognize our own mistakes


Easy
is to talk without thinking
Difficult
is to refrain the tongue


Easy
is to hurt someone who loves us.
Difficult
is to heal the wound...


Easy
is to ask for forgiveness
Difficult
is to forgive others

Easy
is to set rules.
Difficult
is to follow them...


Easy
is to dream every night.
Difficult
is to fight for a dream...


Easy
is to show victory.
Difficult
is to assume defeat with dignity...


Easy
is to admire a full moon.
Difficult
to see the other side...


Easy
is to stumble with a stone.
Difficult
is to get up...


Easy
is to enjoy life every day.
Difficult
to give its real value...


Easy
is to promise something to someone.
Difficult
is to fulfill that promise...


Easy
is to say we love.
Difficult
is to show it every day...


Easy
is to criticize others.
Difficult
is to improve oneself...


Easy
is to make mistakes.
Difficult is to learn from them...

Easy
is to weep for a lost love.
Difficult
is to take care of it so not to lose it.


Easy
is to think about improving.
Difficult
is to stop thinking it and put it into action...


Easy
is to think bad of others
Difficult
is to give them the benefit of the doubt...


Easy
is to receive
Difficult
is to give


Easy
to read this
Difficult
to follow


Easy
is keep the friendship with words
Difficult
is to keep it with meanings.