Leave Applications --------------

 

"Its better to Burn Out than to Fade Away".....

 

From:

See , How people write leave Applications. It's murder of English language. But Too Funny. Just Read It. The Leave Applications; · Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows: "Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave." · This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."   · Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding: "as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."   · From H.A.L. Administration Dept: "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."   · Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"   · An incident of a leave letter: "I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday."   · A leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"   · Another leave letter written to the headmaster: "As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."   · Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."   · Another one: "Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."   · Actual letter written for application of leave: "My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".   · Letter writing:- "I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."   · A candidate's job application: "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post. *~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~

PJ new stock

1 ...JISKA EK BI DOST NAI USKO KYA BOLTE???
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"koena mitra" (koi-na-mitra)


2... once rani mukharjee was given punishment 2 eat 1000 chewingums. she was scared bt den suddenly saif ali khan said sumtin in her ears n she started eatin how???
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coz saif said"chak de chak de,chakde sare GUM,chakde chakde chakde,tere sung hai hum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"




3...suppose ek ladki baarish me bheeg rahi hai t o tum use pani se kaise bachaoge?
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...simple hai yaar...use apna dil dedo...dil CHAHTA(umbrella) hai!!!"



4..ek calculator dusre calci ko kya bola?
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..."CASIO???"...(kaisi-ho?)




5... WHOS DA ONLY PLAYER WHO KNOS EACH N EVRY RELIGIOUS SONG?

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HAR-BHAJAN-SINGH

6...agar aap 90 baar paap karoge to keval 45 baar hi pakde jaoge......batao kyu????

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sin 90=cot 45 

Easy & Difficult

EASY ....... DIFFICULT Easy is to get a place is someone's address book. Difficult is to get a place in someone's heart. Easy is to judge the mistakes of others Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes Easy is to talk without thinking Difficult is to refrain the tongue Easy is to hurt someone who loves us. Difficult is to heal the wound... Easy is to ask for forgiveness Difficult is to forgive others Easy is to set rules. Difficult is to follow them... Easy is to dream every night. Difficult is to fight for a dream... Easy is to show victory. Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity... Easy is to admire a full moon. Difficult to see the other side... Easy is to stumble with a stone. Difficult is to get up... Easy is to enjoy life every day. Difficult to give its real value... Easy is to promise something to someone. Difficult is to fulfill that promise... Easy is to say we love. Difficult is to show it every day... Easy is to criticize others. Difficult is to improve oneself... Easy is to make mistakes. Difficult is to learn from them... Easy is to weep for a lost love. Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it. Easy is to think about improving. Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action... Easy is to think bad of others Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt... Easy is to receive Difficult is to give Easy to read this Difficult to follow Easy is keep the friendship with words Difficult is to keep it with meanings.

MARRIAGE

WHY AM I MARRIED?     You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son." Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late." Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep. Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Cool Personality test

This is a unique personality test. There are only 4 questions but the results are very interesting. I was kind of shocked by what some of my answers meant. Be honest and honor what pops into your mind when the questions present themselves. Just click on the following:

 
 
http://memoriter.net/flash/test.html
 
 
It really works!

9 months later..........

9  Months Later...

Jack  decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So  they   loaded  up Jack's mini van and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they  got caught in a terrible blizzard.  So they pulled into a nearby  farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could  spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there  and I have this huge house all  to  myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid  the   neighbors  will talk if I let   you  stay in my house."

"Don't worry," Jack  said.   "We'll  be happy to sleep   in  the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll  be  gone at first light."  The  lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the  barn   and  settled in for the night.  Come  morning, the    weather had cleared,  and  they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend  of  skiing.

But  exactly nine months   later,  Jack got an  unexpected  letter from an attorney. It took him a few  minutes   to  figure it out,   but  he finally determined that it was from the attorney  of  that  attractive widow he   had  met on the ski weekend.

He  dropped in on his friend Bob   and  asked,   "Bob,  do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on  our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago ?"

"Yes,  I do." said     Bob  

"Did  you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house  and see her ?"

"Well,  um, yes !," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out,    "I have to admit that   I   did."

"And  did you happen to give her my name  instead  of telling her your    name?"



Bob's  face turned beetroot red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy.    I'm afraid I did." "Why do you ask?"


"She  just died and left me everything."  

And  you thought the ending would  be  different,  didn't you?...   I know for sure you  smiled...now keep  that smile for the   rest  of the day!

Keep Smiling,,, 

 

Gal looking for a rich guy.... Must read !!!

 

Fantastic reply from a financial person!          

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year.
I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with
$500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an
annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York. My
requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income
of $500k annual  salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what
should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the
richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper
limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on
the west of New York City Garden (?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
  1)      Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the
names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
  2)      Which age group should I target?
  3)      Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've
met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they
are able to marry rich guys
  4)      How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be
your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty


Here's a reply from a Wall Street Financial guy:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls
out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to
analyze  your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is
more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone
believes that I'm  not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a
business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very
simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to
do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and
Person B pays for it, fair and square. However,  there's a deadly
problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone
without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from
year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the
viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a
depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential
depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much
worried  10 years later

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating
with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we
will  sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same
goes with  the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this,
but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation
value will be  sold or "leased". Anyone with over $500k annual income
is not a fool; we  would only date you, but will not marry you. I would
advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by
the way, you could make  yourself to become a rich person with $500k
annual income. This has better  chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do
contact me…

signed,
J.P. Morgan

MBA Vs. BE

 

 

 
MBA Vs. BE
 

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition
 
 
 
organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an Indian......
 
A MBA and a BE go on a camping trip, set up their tent,and fell asleep.
 
Some hours later, the BE wakes his MBA friend. "
 
look up at the sky and tell me what you see." The MBA replies, "I see
 
millions of stars."
 
"What does that tell you?"
 
 
 
 
 
The MBA ponders for a minute.
 
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies
 
 
 
and potentially billions of planets.
 
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
 
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
 
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and
 
we are small and insignificant.
 
 
 
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
 
What does it tell you?"
 
The BE is silent for a moment, then speaks.
 
"Practically...Someone has stolen our tent".
 
 
 
" ENGINEERING = 100% COMMON SENSE "

 

  

Marriage Invitation

You are electronically invited on occasion of the marriage of

Mr. TRANSISTOR BC107
(working as amplifier in "CE" configuration)

With

Miss. DIODE 2N2222
(working as a rectifier in Electronic Circuits)
The only Daughter of Mr & Mrs. Aluminium and Phosphorous

MUHURTAM
Oct 30, 2K8 @ 10-45 Amplitude Modulation


VENUE
At Peizo Electric Palace, Near Wein Bridge, Nyquist criterion Road-2,
Electricity -508085.

Yours inductively
Mr. & Mrs. EDC PDC
Near P-N Junction, IC Road, Zener breakdown.
With BEST COMPLIMENTS FROM,
Inductor, Resistor, Capacitor, Transformer Near & Dear

Note: Musical Night by Motors and Generators

 
 
 
 
 

    

Laaalu Fun 'O Fun !!!

 

Nice One

 

LaaLu ENGLISH

An Italian, French and Indian went for a job interview in England. They were told that they must compose a sentence in English with three main words: (( green , pink and yellow ))

The Italian was first: "I wake up in the morning. I see the yellow sun. I see the green grass and I hope it will be a pink day ."

The French was next: "I wake up in the morning, I eat a yellow banana,  a green pepper and in the evening I watch the pink panther on TV.

Last was the Indian(Lalu): "I wake up in the morning, I hear the phone "green green ", I "pink" up the phone and I say "Yellow"

 

 

Sometimes...

SOMETIMES...

We must be hurt in order to grow,
We must fail in order to know,
We must lose in order to gain.
Some Lessons are learned best only through pain.

SOMETIMES...

Our vision clears only after our eyes are washed with tears.
We have to be broken, so we can be tender,
We are sick so we can rest and think better on things more important
than work or fun,
We are taken for trip near death, so we can assess how we've run.

SOMETIMES...

We have to suffer lack, so we can know God's provision,
We have to feel another's pain, so we can have a sense of mission.
So take heart, if you don't understand today,
Instead of grumbling, ask God what He means to say,
In order to learn you must endure, and learn to see the bigger picture.
In order to grow, you must stand and look beyond the hurt,
Trust in God's loving hand that takes what is Good, and gives what is Best,
And on this blessed thought, rest your anxious heart with all the questions,
God's hand only gives what his loving heart dictates,

SOMETIMES...

The Lord calms the storm,

SOMETIMES...

He lets the storm rage... and calms His child...
Better go through the storm with Him,
Than smooth waters without Him...


NEVER FEAR SHADOWS.

THEY SIMPLY MEAN THERE IS A LIGHT SHINING SOMEWHERE.

Start your day afresh and simply enjoy life's little treasures!!

Lo apni Hindi sudhar lo....!