light moments

The Next time you think your hotel bill is too high, consider this:

Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston After almost twenty-four hours on the road, They're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a hotel and sleep for four hours and then plan to get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.00.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00! When the clerk tells him $350.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge  conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.

'But we didn't use them,' the man complains.

'Well, they are here, and you could have,' explains the manager.  He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous.  'The best entertainers from New York , Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here,' the manager says.

'But we didn't go to any of those shows,' complains the man again.

'Well, we have them, and you could have,' the manager replies.

No matter what amenity the manager mentions, the man replies, 'But we didn't use it!'

The manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the manager.

The manager is surprised when he looks at the check.

'But sir,' he says, this check is only made out for $50.00.'

'That's correct,' says the man. 'I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with my wife.'

'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.

'Well, too bad,' the man replies. 'She was here and you  could have.'  

High Risk - Nice Joke

HR After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying; My friend, you have not worked here for even one day. The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain. Manager:- How many days are there in a year? Man:- 365 days and some times 366 Manager:- how many hours make up a day? Man:- 24 hours Manager:- How long do you work in a day? Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day. Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours? Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e . 1/3(one third) Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days? Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days) Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends? Man:- No sir Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends? Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have? Man:- 18 days. Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining? Man:- 4 days Manager:- Do you work on New Year day? Man:- No sir! Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day? Man:- No sir! Manager:- So how many days are left? Man:- 2 days sir! Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )? Man:- No sir! Manager:- So how many days are left? Man:- 1 day sir! Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day? Man:- No sir! Manager:- So how many days are left? Man:- None sir! Manager:- So, what are you claiming? Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days. Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!   HR=HIGH RISK